Keep Your Pantheon (and School)

Two Unrelated Plays

David Mamet

• Publisher: Theatre Communications Group
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781559367240
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: American Drama
• Index: Literature

Best known for his precision-blade language and hot-button subject matter, David Mamet shows off a lighter side with his equally dexterous screwball comedy Keep Your Pantheon. Featuring an over-the-hill acting guru who lusts after both his toga-clad protégé Philius and a spot in the Sicilian Cork Festival, Mamet’s play returns to the roots of comedy, paying homage to the Roman playwright Plautus, whose works also inspired Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors and the musical A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. This volume also contains School: a crackling curtain-raiser in which two teachers shoot back-and-forth on topics ranging from pedophilia to recycling. Keep Your Pantheon received its world premiere at Center Theater Group in Los Angeles, while the two comic plays received their New York City premiere as a double bill at Atlantic Theater Company. David Mamet’s newest play, The Anarchist, is slated for a Broadway premiere in fall 2012, starring Patti Lupone and Laurie Metcalf.

This play is dedicated to Jack Wallace

PRODUCTION HISTORY

Keep Your Pantheon premiered in May 2008 at the Center Theatre Group (Michael Ritchie, Artistic Director; Charles Dillingham, Managing Director) in Los Angeles. It was performed as a double bill with The Duck Variations. It was directed by Neil Pepe. Set design was by Takeshi Kata, costume design was by Ilona Somogyi, lighting design was by Christopher Akerlind and sound design was by Cricket S. Myers. The production stage manager was David S. Franklin and the stage manager was Elizabeth Atkinson. The cast was as follows:

HERALD	Vincent Guastaferro
STRABO	Ed O’Neill
PELARGON	David Paymer
PHILIUS	Michael Cassidy
RAMUS	Jack Wallace
QUINTUS MAGNUS	Steven Goldstein
TITUS	J. J. Johnston
LUPUS ALBUS	Dominic Hoffman
MESSENGER	Rod McLachlan
ENSEMBLE	Jeffrey Addiss, Rod McLachlan, Jonathan Rossetti

Keep Your Pantheon was produced in September 2009 at Atlantic Theater Company (Neil Pepe, Artistic Director; Jeffory Lawson, Managing Director) in New York City. It was performed as a double bill with School. It was directed by Neil Pepe. Set design was by Takeshi Kata, costume design was by Ilona Somogyi and lighting design was by Christopher Akerlind. The production stage manager was Gregory T. Livoti. The cast was as follows:

HERALD	Steven Hawley
STRABO	Brian Murray
PELARGON	John Pankow
PHILIUS	Michael Cassidy
RAMUS	Jack Wallace
QUINTUS MAGNUS	Todd Weeks
TITUS	J. J. Johnston
LUPUS ALBUS	Jordan Lage
MESSENGER	Rod McLachlan
ENSEMBLE	Jeffrey Addiss, Rod McLachlan, Jonathan Rossetti

CHARACTERS

HERALD

STRABO: An actor

PELARGON: An actor

PHILIUS: Strabo’s young apprentice

RAMUS: An old drunk

QUINTUS MAGNUS: The landlord

MESSENGER

MAN

AUDIENCE

TITUS: A jailor

LUPUS ALBUS: The White Wolf of Phrygia, a general

CENTURIONS

ARMORERS

GUARDS

PRIEST

SETTING

Ancient Rome.

The impatient crowd rushed at the dawn of day to secure their places, and there were many who passed a sleepless and anxious night in the adjacent porticos. From the morning to the evening, careless of the sun, or of the rain, the spectators, who sometimes amounted to the number of four hundred thousand, remained in eager attention.

—Edward Gibbon,

The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Scene One

An actors’ studio in ancient Rome. Two actors, Strabo and Pelargon, in ratty clothes, are batting their arms, trying to keep warm. Walking up and down.

Outside, in the rain, a Herald walks by the open windows.

HERALD:

O for the tongues of all the gods

To decry that fate, which ’gainst all odds

Has brought the Tenth African Legion low

Oh, Rome, rend your garments and ashes throw . . .

STRABO: Has anybody seen my codpiece? . . .

HERALD:

Has brought the Tenth African

Legion low . . .

PELARGON (To the Herald): Hey, what happened to the Tenth African Legion?

HERALD:

The Tenth African Legion has suffered its first defeat . . .

STRABO: Mee, me, mo mo moo moo . . . Has anybody seen my codpiece? . . .

HERALD:

They have suffered their first defeat

Loss is more bitter than victory’s sweet.

STRABO: Mmee mee hah mah . . . Would you, would you, give a working man a break.

HERALD: Buy Sosostris Sandals—the Egyptians wor...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• KEEP YOUR PANTHEON
• SCHOOL