BEGINNINGS
I was born in Warsaw on December 23, 1925, the son of Henryka (Henia) Dembowska nĂ©e SokoĆowska and WĆodzimierz (WĆodek) Dembowski. My parents had three children before me: Katarzyna (Kasia), born July 30, 1919, who became Sister Zofia, a Franciscan in the Laski convent near Warsaw, and died there in 2002; MaĆgorzata (MaĆgosia), born February 26, 1922, arrested by the Gestapo on May 14, 1941, and executed, together with her mother, in the womenâs concentration camp at RavensbrĂŒck on September 25, 1942; and Franciszek (Franek), born February 2, 1924, a retired geologist living in KrakĂłw. The youngest member of our family, BronisĆaw (Bronek), was born on October 2, 1927. He became a priest in the diocese of Warsaw in 1953 and was bishop of WĆocĆawek from 1992 until his retirement in 2003.
Both of my parents came from landowning families of the old szlachta class, that is to say, the gentry. The gentry possessed a coat of arms and a long family history, both authentic and mythical. According to Jan Hempel, an ardent genealogist and family member (the husband of the daughter of my great-aunt), the Dembowski family can be traced to the beginning of the fourteenth century.
The szlachta class was a specific Polish institution. It should not be confused with the aristocracy, for only the very top of the szlachta constituted the true aristocracy. Before the partitions of Poland, at the end of the eighteenth century, the gentry were relatively numerous, constituting 20 percent of the population. They elected the king of Poland (who was automatically a grand prince of Lithuania), and they voted for the members of Parliament (the Sejm). After the last partitions in 1795, they played a leading role in all cultural, social, and national movements. They have been, in fact, a voice of national conscience. In the nineteenth century (above all, after the 1863â64 Insurrection) the szlachta class lost much of its economic power.
The descendants of szlachta families became the soul of the Polish intelligentsia. The Communists talked about Polish society of the 1940s and 1950s as a post-szlachta society, and quite rightly so. To give just one example, Lech WaĆÄsa, a peasant turned proletarian, talked, looked (his mustache, for example), and acted like a good old member of the szlachta; his opponent, General Jaruzelski, the last general secretary of the Polish Communist Party (KPP), was an authentic member of the szlachta and acted like one, in spite of his Communist role. The main characteristics of this post-szlachta intelligentsia class were a high level of Polish patriotism, absolute devotion to the idea of the independence of Poland, often combined with social and political progressivism, a sense of personal involvement, and a highly developed capacity for improvisation. I was born into this post-szlachta intelligentsia milieu.
MY FATHERâS FAMILY
Both of my fatherâs parents were members of the landowning gentry, quite impoverished at the time of their birth. I do not remember my grandfather Aleksander, who died in the early 1930s. He was apparently charming, and, according to my cousin Jadwiga Dembowska, his grandchildren adored him. His brother BronisĆaw (after whom my brother was named) was a pioneering ethnologist who âdiscoveredâ the folklore of the GĂłral people from the Tatra Mountains region and was the author of a dictionary of the GĂłral dialect. According to my mother, he belonged to the most creative group of the Polish intelligentsia. In the summer of 2009, a museum originally founded by him in Zakopane was officially opened as a state museum. Bronek, Franek, and Franekâs children were guests of honor at this occasion. My grandfather had a third brother, Tadeusz, who was an outstanding surgeon and an active citizen of Vilna (Wilno).
My paternal grandmother, Helena Brodowska, was what we used to call âa brave Polish woman.â She came from an important but impoverished family. Her father, Ludomir Brodowski, was dean of the Medical Faculty in Warsaw and an accomplished researcher. Helena was totally devoted to her children, three daughters, Hanna, Aniela, and StanisĆawa (Stasia); and three sons, Kazimierz (Kazik), my father, WĆodzimierz (WĆodek), and the youngest, Stefan, who drowned in the Vistula River when he was a boy.
My grandmother was given to social causes, or, as Poles called voluntary involvement in neighborhood associations, praca spoĆeczna, literally, âsocial work.â In independent Poland she became a school principal and always remained an ardent Polish Socialist, and therefore anti-Stalinist. I knew her well, because during the 1938â39 school year I lived in her tiny apartment in Warsaw and spent time in Hannaâs and StanisĆawaâs households. At the beginning of the war my grandmother was ill with cancer. She went to live with her son Kazik and his wife, Janina. I was living with them, too, and I assisted my grandmother in her last weeks on earth. She loved her children and grandchildren, but she was far too possessive and not easy to get along with in daily life.
My fatherâs sisters remained ardent leftists throughout their lives. Hanna and Aniela were Communist sympathizers, and after 1945, in their old age, they became (unimportant) Party members. The youngest sister, StanisĆawa (Stasia), was a non-Communist leftist and late in life became an ardent Catholic.
My brother Bronek told me that when he attended Hannaâs funeral he carefully covered his Roman collar with a scarf as the few people present were aged Communists. The funeral was of course nonreligious, just a speech or two and the singing of the Internationale. Sad, old, trembling voices on a gloomy Polish winter day, chanting about the âlast struggleâ that would save mankind, convinced Bronek to add his priestly baritone to the chorus. A true example of charity.
I remember all three of my paternal aunts as very strong but also quite bizarre. I believe that they were taught by their mother to be emancipated vis-Ă -vis the male of the species and the rest of the world. Their mother was not only a Socialist, but an early and devout feminist (the late nineteenth-century Polish term is emancypantka, âan emancipated womanâ). Each of her three daughters, after having produced two offspring, immediately divorced their husbands. Such behavior was most unusual in 1930s Poland. Like their mother, Hanna, Aniela, and Stasia loved their children with the passion and possessiveness of a mama grizzly bear.
Hanna had two sons with her husband, MieczysĆaw (Mietek) Kwiatkowski. Mietek had a passion for automobiles and for Communism (in that order), but he made his living, not very successfully, by translating American Westerns into Polish. In September 1939 Mietek found himself in Soviet-occupied territory and quickly realized that the NKVD (Peopleâs Commissariat of Internal Affairs) was not the same as the pre-1939 Polish police. The latter knew of his membership in the outlawed Communist Party, and they used to arrest him routinely in honor of May Day on April 30 and release him on May 2. The NKVD was far more serious: it was arresting members of the Polish Communist Party and killing them as âdeviationists.â Mietek went into hiding and died soon after, of some disease probably caused by constant fright.
I knew his sons, Piotr and Andrzej, very well. During the war, they had the rare distinction in my extended family of being the only ones in my generation, to my knowledge, who did not participate in any clandestine organizations. Their mother tried to ensure that they remained far from danger. They were even kept away from the rest of the family, suspecting, quite rightly, that we were involved in all sorts of anti-German clandestine activities, for which I shall use here the Polish term konspiracja (meaning âconspiracyâ but without a pejorative connotation).
To describe oneâs clandestine activity, the Poles used to say that one was âin konspiracjaâ or âin organizacja.â During the occupation, everybodyâs desire was to have good papers, legal if possible, proving that they were working in an institution approved by the Germans. The people in konspiracja often had better papers than others. People without papers were frequently caught in the great street and house roundups (called Ćapanki) organized by the Germans and sent to forced labor in Germany.
In 1943, I think, Hanna found perfect work for her sons: they became members of the Ć»olibĂłrz (a northern suburb of Warsaw) fire company. As firemen, they had good papers, warm uniforms, and wonderful sheepskin coats. Their work protected them from German conscription into working on behalf of the occupiers. Little did they know that by 1944 most of the members of the Ć»olibĂłrz fire company were a part of the regular secret army unit of the Armia Krajowa, the AK (Home Army, lit., âArmy of the Country,â as opposed to the Army Abroad). Early in 1944 there was a breakdown in AK security, and despite the sounding of an alarm (prepared in advance precisely for such an emergency) warning everyone to stay away from the fire station, some members of the group were arrested.
The Kwiatkowskis were among the very few unaware of the situation, and they were promptly arrested by the waiting Gestapo unit when they arrived to begin their shift. By sheer chance, on May 3, 1944, I met Andrzej in the courtyard of the Warsaw prison. He was a yard âtrustee,â and I was waiting in the yard to be freed from the prison. He told me that the Germans were particularly rough on him because his mother had stenciled the letters âAKâ (Andrzej Kwiatkowski) inside his coat, neither she nor he realizing that it stood for Armia Krajowa. Her ignorance of the letters AK shows her complete isolation from the society in which she lived. As suspects, both boys were sent later to a truly horrible camp, Stutthof, near Danzig. They survived, but, as they say in French, Ă peine. Liberated by the Russians, they joined the reigning Communist Party and made nice careers in the Peopleâs Republic of Poland.
My aunt Aniela, a trained physicist, was arrested with my mother and spent three years in RavensbrĂŒck. In her memoirs, written from a distinctly Communist point of view, she never mentions my mother by name, only once referring to her âsister-in-law,â and she never speaks of my sister MaĆgosia. There is a typical Polish irony in this story. Aniela wanted to have her memoirs published in Poland, but apparently the officials of Communist Poland did not find it orthodox enough, so her son StanisĆaw had to have it published in London at an Ă©migrĂ©, basically anti-Communist publishing house.
The August 1944 Warsaw Uprising took the life of Anielaâs son Kazik. He was my favorite cousin. A little older than I was, he was strikingly handsome and dark like a gypsy; he resembled a Hollywood star. His older brother, StanisĆaw (Stach), survived the Uprising.
My other aunt, Stasia, married a prominent sculptor, Franciszek Strynkiewicz. She lost her daughter Agnieszka, called Jagoda (Berry) within the family, in the Uprising. Like her father, Jagoda was a talented artist. The younger daughter, Barbara, survived the war.
Neither my father nor his older brother Kazimierz (Kazik) shared the unusual behavior of their sisters, which was a mixture of eccentricity and egocentricity. (This, of course, was my view as a young, and therefore censorious, fellow.) Kazik received some scientific training in Paris before 1914. All his adult life, Kazik taught physics in secondary school. Until the war he taught in the secondary school run by his wife, Janina Landy. My stryj (many Poles distinguish between the paternal uncle, stryj, whose wife is stryjenka, and any other uncle, called wuj) Kazik was one of the most selfless persons I have ever known. He was also a model husband. Very witty but shy and kind, he was loved by his students. During the war, when the Germans closed all schools in Poland, he participated in clandestine teaching (komplety, lit., âassembliesâ), small groups of students (about six in number) who met in private apartments for regularly scheduled classes. Janinaâs high school continued such activities until the Uprising, and Kazik became a member of a sapper group.
Let me give an example of Kazikâs fertile mind. In about 1942 I was ill with a nasty flu and sleeping on the couch in the same room in which Kazik was giving a physics lessons to five young ladies (living conditions were abominable). He explained in great detail the principle of an artificial satellite circling the earth. All we need, he said, is a great cannon (he had served in the artillery in 1920) to shoot the satellite far enough from earthâs gravity. I remembered his lesson when the Russians launched their first Sputnik in 1957.
Kazik married Janina Landy in 1917. She and her two sisters were important figures in my life. The members of the Landy family, established both in Poland and in France, were nonreligious Jews involved in commerce. Janina loved to tell me a legend that illustrates the character of her family. In 1862â63, during one of the many anticzarist manifestations, the Cossacks fired at the crowd, killing the man at the front, who was bearing a cross. Janinaâs ancestor MichaĆ Landy, marching behind the fallen man, picked up the cross and continued the march. He too was fatally shot. Talking about it in 1968, Janina considered this an omen of her conversion.
Janina and her sisters, Zofia and Henryka (called Dzidka, âthe Babyâ), became Christians. Their brother, Adam, whom I never met, became an ardent Marxist. Like many members of the KPP, Adam went to the USSR and was executed, in about 1936, in the purges of Polish Communists for their âdeviationism.â He was, as Janina proudly told me, rehabilitated by the Polish Communists in the 1970s.
Their mother, whom I remember very well as a sweet little lady, was called babcia, âgranny,â by everyone. She was full of life and good humor. She did not become a Christian but got along extremely well with both her Christian and her Communist children. She was caught and killed by the Germans in one of their many roundups in Warsaw in, I believe, 1943.
Her youngest daughter, Dzidka, was far more French than her two older sisters. She spent her entire youth in France and in Poland became a superb teacher of French. She was perhaps too strict as a teacher. I still remember the fear of making a mistake in French in her presence. She and Janina were very influential in my choice of studies and profession. In 1962 Dzidka approved of my French. Quelle victoire!
During the war Dzidka was an important member of the Underground. She and her future husband, Martyniak (a one-armed Polish officer who was parachuted in from England), started a clandestine manufacturing operation producing hand grenades, called filipinki (from Martyniakâs pseudonym âFilip,â Philip). Officially, it was a factory making carbide lamps, which required heavy metal containers. My brother Franek worked in the factory, both as a sworn member of the konspiracja and as a paid employee.
Dzidka survived the German occupation but was arrested by the Polish Communists, accused of communicating with the Polish government in exile in London. She and her husband were sentenced to long terms in prison. They were released, before November 1956, during the first âthaw.â Dzidka returned to teaching French.
It was Janina who played an especially important role in my life. After the death of my father, she became my second mother, and after the arrest of my mother and the news of her death, she was my only mother. The Landy sisters had distinctly Semitic features, easily recognizable as such by the local population. Unlike her sisters, Janina was beautiful. In a photograph taken in her youth she looks like the Old Testament Sarah painted by a Pre-Raphaelite. She remained beautiful even in old age. Like her sisters, she was an ardent personâan ardent Christian, an ardent patriot, and an ardent educator.
Many people knew about Janinaâs Jewish background, including one of her former students whose family became Volksdeutsch, that is, a self-declared ethnic German, or a supposedly ethnic German, who acquired provisional German citizenship. Declaring oneself Volksdeutch was practically the only way of being accepted by the Germans, who considered other Poles racially inferior. Janina told me after the war (one did not discuss such matters during the occupation) that she was never threatened with denunciation. She was a tower of strength, endurance, and love. It is likely that, after the death of my mother, I owed my mental health to Janinaâs love. I also owe to her my interest in the Polish Jews.
The eldest of the three Landy sisters, Zofia, became a serious theological scholar. I remember her teaching a lesson on the virtuous Susanna to Grade 6 boys in the school for the blind in Laski. When she started talking, the boys, most of them blind, forgot their sniffles and giggles suggested by the subject, but I had the feeling that the Old Testament was speaking to me directly. Zofia was doubtless the leading force in the Christianization of the Landy sisters. A big, round woman, she was an intellectual and a personal friend of Jacques Maritain and his wife, RarĂŻssa (like the Landys, a Jew by birth). In the early 1920s she became Sister Teresa in the Laski convent.
My motherâs sister Zofia SokoĆowska, a young sculptress of some renown, and several other outstanding young women, many of them of Jewish background, were the founders of both the Laski convent and the Institute for the Blind. The leader of the Laski movement, Mother Czacka, was born with an incurable progressive eye disease and became totally blind in her early twenties. She decided to establish a Franciscan convent for the blind and in service to the blind. At the same time, the organization in Poland also became a movement of Catholic renewal working with the educated classes.
In the course of the nineteenth century, many members of the Polish intelligentsia became either indifferent or inimical to Christianity. They had just discovered science, progress, and rationalism, and they considered religion part of obscurantist folklore, good enough for the common people but certainly insufficient for those who had become enlightened. The Laski movement squarely faced the challenge, as my mother used to say, of the ârationalistic error.â The movement has had a profound influence on the development of Polish Catholicity. It suffices to say that Karol WojtyĆa, the future Pope John Paul II, was a follower and friend of the great Laski figure Cardinal WyszyĆski, who himself was influenced by th...