It's All In The Frijoles

100 Famous Latinos Share Real Life Stories Time Tested Dichos Favorite Folkta

Yolanda Nava

• Publisher: Touchstone
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781439147221
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Hispanic American Studies
• Index: Social Sciences

Collected folktales, lullabies, poems, sayings, and dichos from well-known and beloved Latin figures, both past and present—from actor Edward James Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila. Do you wish you could remember all the words to the childhood songs your grandmother taught you, so you could sing them to your children? Have you ever found yourself repeating the dichos, or proverbs, your parents used to lecture you with? If you are looking for a way to get back in touch with your culture, It's All in the Frijoles is the perfect start. A treasure trove of cherished folktales, lullabies, poems, and dichos, this rich collection of Latino wisdom includes inspiring recollections and anecdotes by well-known and beloved figures, both past and present -- from actor Edward James Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila. It's All in the Frijoles is certain to evoke with fondness many a childhood memory of essential teachings learned from parents and grandparents, including: El hombre debe ser feo, fuerte, y formal.
A man should be homely, hardy, and honorable. El consejo de la mujer es poco y él que no lo agarra es loco.
The advice of a woman is very scarce and the person who does not heed it is crazy. Pueblo dividido, pueblo vencido.
A people divided, a people conquered. It's All in the Frijoles captures and perpetuates the essence of Latino tradition and is destined to become a family treasure that is passed down from generation to generation. This legacy of wisdom provides food for thought not only for Latinos but also for people of all other ethnic backgrounds.

1

Responsibility

Responsabilidad

Political crises are moral crises.

—OCTAVIO PAZ, “Postscript,” 1970.
Mexican poet, writer, 1990 Nobel Prize Laureate in Literature.

Tell me thy company, and I’ll tell thee what thou art.

—MIGUEL DE CERVANTES,
Don Quixote, 1615

The virtue responsabilidad y obligación—responsibility and obligation—acts as the keystone that holds the expansive arch of our culture together. Obligation encompasses one’s duty to others, beginning with the responsibility of each parent to provide children with the necessities of life—food, clothing, shelter, and, of course, love, as well as taking care of one’s elderly family members. From these primary duties, responsibility spreads out in ever-larger concentric rings to embrace the wider community, of which family is a part. In one direction it leads to the ideas of respect and loyalty, in another to courage, humility, and hard work.

Mamá taught this important virtue in the same way in which she learned it in her youth. Hispanic culture teaches that one’s behavior is guided by its effect or impact on others, rather than by its sole effect on the individual. By thinking this way, we see our every action is considered a reflection on our parents, our good family name, our community, and our raza. As family members, we are bound by our obligations, our duty to one another. Often the agreement is an unwritten one, reinforced by the deep intimacy within Latino families where grandparents, aunts, uncles, compadres, and a host of other familiares form a network of responsible, caring adults that guide the young members of the household. Whether by words or actions, we learn very early on that we will be cared for, taught what behavior is expected of us, taught what roles we are to play in our family, and shown that we must care for those who are older, younger, or weaker than ourselves.

Responsibility, obligation, and duty are synonyms that seem almost anachronistic in these self-indulgent times in which commitments are often ignored but are, in reality, vital to human relationships. How can one person rely on another if we are not bound by our word, or if we have no sense of obligation to one another beyond what might be upheld in a court of law?

Just as Mamá’s duty to me was the driving force in her life, she let me know it was my responsibility to work hard at my studies, to be well behaved, and to obey her. Boundaries were clearly defined. So were right and wrong. She wisely allowed me to learn the consequences of my actions in both obvious and subtle ways, after setting out the guidelines of appropriate and expected behavior. You knew that if you violated the rules, or stepped out of bounds after initial warnings, you would be punished. Whack! No questions asked.

As I was an only child, Mamá encouraged my love of animals and allowed me pets of all varieties. She let me know I was completely responsible for them. The feed store was blocks and blocks away, and we had no car. I can still remember carrying fifteen-pound sacks of dog food and chicken and bird feed through the hot streets and up the long hill to our house above Sunset Boulevard, much as, I now realize, my mother carried home, by bus and on foot, shopping bags of food from Grand Central market in the center of downtown Los Angeles. She did this because the Central market had the freshest produce and best meat at reasonable prices, and because she could stop there after work.

One summer, I learned the hard way that not fulfilling your responsibilities can have serious consequences. Among my pets were seven parakeets of various striking colors, who lived in a cage on a shaded, enclosed porch. Mamá had told me that they needed fresh water and seed every day. That summer I discovered many new friends on the block, and we spent most of the long, hot days playing games and cavorting about the neighborhood with other children.

Several days running, I was so eager to go out in the morning that I forgot about the birds. On the third day, I returned home to find them all lying on the bottom of the cage, dead. I was miserable and guilty, and felt like a very bad person as my mother explained that they, like humans, need water more than anything else to live. It was a failure of fulfilling a responsibility that I would never make again.

Why is responsibility so important? Fulfilling obligations to family and others is essential to achieve harmonious relations. Assuming responsibility is a requisite of leadership.

Katherine Ortega

Former United States Treasurer

My father was the one who taught us responsibility. If you were given a job you were responsible for doing it and, if you said you were going to do something, you’d better do it or have a very good reason for not doing it. To this day, I get very upset with people who say they are going to do something, then don’t do it. He also taught us to be on time. If you said you were going to be there at eight, you had to be there at eight, not eight-thirty. I think he was somewhat typical of that generation.

My father was a very proud person. Crippled as a young man, he developed himself and was very physically and mentally strong. He taught us that you were responsible for yourself and your family, that you should not depend on other people to take care of you. Nor did he believe in handouts, and refused to accept food or other support during the Great Depression.

I remember him working two or three jobs, whatever it took, and saying that his children may have had patched clothes, but they were clean.

His sense of responsibility and obligation also extended to the community where we lived. He was a member of the school board, helped at the church, and built a church in Bent, New Mexico.

My father emphasized the importance of being prepared. He wanted all of us to be independent—including the girls—to be self sufficient, not to depend on anyone for our well-being. He even said his agenda was for us to learn how to make a living, because “if you get married and if he doesn’t treat you right, I want you to pick up and walk out. If you’re not treated right, you don’t have to stay.”

We all had our responsibilities around the house, and we were expected to come straight home after school to complete them. We all had to work. The boys had to wash the windows and clean the yards, and the girls had to make the beds, help with the house, prepare meals, and do the dishes. We could not stand around. As we got older, he gave us responsibilities in his upholstery and furniture business. That’s how my sister and I learned accounting. To this day, I can’t be idle. I’m constantly doing something, and I always find something to do.

He encouraged us to share his interest in politics. Back in those days, he received the afternoon paper. He would read it from cover to cover, sometimes staying up until eleven o’clock at night, reading, and tell us “You have to be informed.” In order to change things, he said, “You have to be involved.” He even got involved at school. He would talk to our teachers, and find out from the principal how things were going. He wanted to be informed, so that he would be able to participate.

Being responsible to the community was important to my father. He told us that if things were going to be done right you had to keep an eye on them and be involved. My oldest sister and a couple of my brothers became involved by serving on state commissions.

Manuel T. Pacheco, Ph.D.

President, University of Missouri System

I grew up in New Mexico as the oldest of eleven brothers and sisters in a farming family. In a large family, there were certain values that, of necessity, were inculcated in us right from the outset. We were responsible for each other and, because the resources we had were limited, they had to be shared. Our values were also shaped by my parents’ and grandparents’ strong religious beliefs. Religion was the driving force for our family.

As a child, I had responsibilities on the farm before I went to school. I had to feed the calves and do other chores. I remember very specifically that I neglected my responsibilities for a very short period. One of the calves that I was supposed to have fed died because I hadn’t taken care of it. So there were very, very real consequences, which didn’t only have an effect on me. I remember I got a really bad spanking because my parents had depended on me, and I hadn’t lived up to the responsibility. Not only was it bad for the animal, but it also meant that money that my family needed wasn’t going to be available because we weren’t going to be able to sell that calf, so that was a hard lesson.

How I was raised has influenced my role as president. ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Description
• Author Bio
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Acknowledgments
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Responsibility / Responsabilidad
• Chapter 2: Respect / Respeto
• Chapter 3: Hard Work / Trabajo Duro
• Chapter 4: Loyalty / Lealtad
• Chapter 5: Faith / Fe
• Chapter 6: Honesty / Integridad
• Chapter 7: Courage / Valentía
• Chapter 8: Humility / Humildad
• Chapter 9: Temperance / Moderación
• Chapter 10: Prudence / Prudencia
• Chapter 11: Justice / Justicia
• Chapter 12: Fortitude / Fortaleza
• Chapter 13: Chastity / Castidad
• Chapter 14: Charity / Caridad
• For Further Reading
• Contributors’ Biographies
• Index
• Credits & Permissions