Identity Crisis

Standing Between Two Identities of Women Believers from Muslim Backgrounds in Jordan

Yoon

• Publisher: Wipf and Stock
• Year: 2015
• ISBN:
  9781630879167
• Topic: Theologie & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

This book provides a general overview of the identity crises BMB (believer from Muslim background) women in Jordan go through and reasons for it. Traditionally, persecution from family, community, or the secret police is thought to leave these women with newfound faith. However, even before persecution exposes their new faith, many initial believers give up seeking the new truth and return to their previous phase due to a serious identity crisis. This phenomenon is found to occur particularly often among female BMBs because of their unique circumstances in the religious and sociocultural contexts of Jordan. Through an examination of BMB women's narratives, this book explores how Muslim women form their identities and what they experience in the process of conversion.

1

Introduction

Autobiographical Background to the Study

I was born and raised in a sincere Buddhist family. Following my family, I went to a Buddhist temple and practiced Buddhist rituals since I was young. When I was eleven years old, I had heard about Christianity from my elementary school Christian teacher. I hated to hear about Christianity, but at the same time I was very curious to hear what it was like. I was wondering: if every religious adherent claimed that they believed in the true God—such as Buddha for Buddhists, Jesus Christ for Christians—then who is the true God? Is Buddha the true God or Jesus Christ or anyone else? I decided to learn more about Christianity. I went to church alone without telling my family, but it was hard for me to secretly continue going to church. I could not keep telling lies whenever I went out to go to church on Sunday. Hence, my family eventually found out, and it took a long time to obtain permission to attend church.

During that time, I had very mixed feelings and various thoughts of myself. For me, choosing another religion from my family meant betraying them and admitting that they would go to hell because of their unbelief of Jesus Christ. However, my heart was already moving more toward God than Buddha while I had known God and Jesus. God protected me and helped me keep my faith through all difficulties and eventually brought salvation to my family. I dedicated my life to sharing the truth with those who don’t know Jesus Christ, and have become a worker overseas serving the Arabs in Jordan for over ten years.

In Jordan, I have found that the dynamics of people’s life and perspectives are influenced by various factors from Arab traditionalism to postmodern tendencies. I have seen that many Muslims want to know more about Jesus Christ and to become Christians. At the same time, I have watched Jordanian converts face huge tensions in the process of changing their religion, and how difficult it is for them to become established in their new faith. In particular, women seem to have more hardships in becoming Christian than men.

Here are my experiences with two women (a BMB and a seeker) in Jordan.

• Case 1

Kaldiye1 worked as a nurse at the Christian hospital and attended the meetings for patients in which Christian staff share the gospel with Muslim patients. One day she came to me and said that she understood what I had shared at the meeting and wanted to know more about Jesus. I explained the gospel and the cost for her of becoming a Christian. In spite of that, she wanted to accept Jesus as her Savior, so we prayed together and Jesus Christ became her Savior in September 2008. She and I started having a Bible study, and I found out that it was not easy for her to follow the general style of Bible study that answers questions about the Bible at a beginner level. However when I asked about her faith in Jesus Christ, she clearly understood the redemption of Jesus Christ and the content of the gospel. She only made it to two Bible studies with me, and because of her mother’s illness, she had to leave the hospital. In spite of her circumstances, she made many appointments with me for Bible studies over the phone, but she didn’t keep most of them. Later, she didn’t even answer my phone calls. This all happened within three months.

• Case 2

Fatima was a graduate student in one of the universities in Jordan. She was hospitalized at the Christian hospital for a month in July 2009. Through Christians who worked at the hospital, she heard the gospel for the first time in her life. Although she did not accept Jesus Christ as her Savior, she could not deny her interest in knowing more about Jesus and Christianity. After leaving the hospital, she searched the internet and looked for more information about the subject. One day in November I met her at the university in which she studied and I gave her a Bible and several other Christian books. Fatima was very happy with the books. In fact, she was actually looking for some of the same books that I had given her. I invited her to have a Bible study with me and she gladly accepted. However, she made an excuse and didn’t come to the first Bible study. I made another appointment with her, but she didn’t appear again. After that, she never even answered my phone calls.

Along with these cases, I’ve watched many other Jordanian women and men seekers and believers stagnate in their faith or give up seeking about their new interest/faith in Christianity. The spirit of Islam is embedded in all customs and traditions, and extends “throughout all activity, thought, and feeling” of Muslims.2 Islam is the crucial basis of identity for Muslims. The term “Muslim” refers to their total identity, not just their religious identity. Therefore making the choice to leave Islam and to follow Jesus Christ has serious costs for converts in all the diverse dimensions of their lives.

Statement of the Problem

Nur Armangan, a Turkish BMB and missiologist, states that many converts from Islamic backgrounds “give up their new faith within the first two years of their initial decision.”3 Traditionally, it is known that believers from a Muslim background (BMB) have threats/realities of persecution from family, community, society, or the secret police. However, I have also observed the important phenomenon that even before persecution or having their new faith exposed, many seekers or initial believers give up seeking the new truth and return to their previous phase. My experience shows that this phenomenon is found to occur more among female BMBs in particular, because of the unique circumstances in religious and sociocultural aspects in Jordan. Therefore, the social and religious issue my research addresses is that many f...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• List of Tables
• Foreword
• Preface
• Acknowledgments
• Chapter 1: Introduction
• Chapter 2: Woman’s Identities in Christianity and Islam
• Chapter 3: Women in Jordan
• Chapter 4: Narratives of Banaat al Urdun (Daughters of Jordan)
• Chapter 5: Analysis
• Chapter 6: Conclusion
• Appendix
• Bibliography
• Subject Index