Teaching Emotional Intelligence

Strategies and Activities for Helping Students Make Effective Choices

Adina Bloom Lewkowicz

• Publisher: Skyhorse
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9781510701274
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education Teaching Methods

A teacher's guide that provides educators with fresh and engaging techniques to help children increase self-awareness, manage emotions, build self-control, and develop positive relationships.

Section 1

Developing Emotional Skills

This first section focuses on the development of effective skills in dealing with emotions. Daniel Goleman’s (1995) research on emotional intelligence indicated a great need for mastery over the emotional realm and spoke of the importance of providing the opportunity for each person to develop positive emotional habits. Other researchers have pointed out the benefits of enhancing emotional abilities, tying these skills to greater academic achievement (Zins, Weissberg, Wang, & Wohlberg, 2004), social adaptation (Greenberg et al., 2003), and as a predictor of positive life outcomes (Mayer et al., 2000).

The first four lessons in this section introduce the basics of informed choice-making. In succeeding lessons, students develop an understanding of what it means to make a choice, examine how choices may be made as a group, become aware of and investigate how emotions affect choice-making, and discover how to become aware of and examine assumptions that underlie choices.

The next five lessons offer opportunities for students to apply their understanding of the choice-making process to their own decisions about their emotions. They develop an awareness of how they are feeling and explore choices about when, how, and how intensely they would like to experience a variety of emotions and the ways in which they would like to deal with them. Using their knowledge of the assumption-thought-feeling-action chain, students examine effective choices across a wide range of situations. The lessons explore assumptions believed and choices made regarding three emotions (anxiety, anger, and happiness) and two issues influencing emotions (hiding feelings and responsibility).

1

Understanding Choice-Making

Youngsters have the ability to make healthy, positive choices about how to think, feel, and behave when they are given the tools and the context to do so. Teachers have the opportunity and ability to offer both. When teachers encourage the development of their students’ emotional intelligence, students will be able to apply that intelligence to the choices they make.

The development of emotional intelligence and conscious and effective choice-making begins with self-awareness. Dealing with self-awareness as a global concept is a rather daunting proposition. Instead, let us start at the beginning and start small.

To make effective choices, people must first understand the definition of choice, the kinds of choices that are made, the process by which choices are made, and the ways that choices affect people. To make a choice, people decide which of two or more possibilities or alternatives is best. People make choices every moment about their every thought, feeling, and action. Often, these choices are made very quickly and below a person’s level of conscious awareness. People do not know that a choice has been made or that there was the option to make other choices. Even when aware that a choice existed, a person’s range of choices may be limited. Choices frequently are made by default or out of habit; are based on choices of others, such as friends, family, and the media; or are based on faulty information or none at all.

Choices lead to consequences. The accumulation of choices, whether made consciously or unconsciously, and the consequences that follow add up to the person one is. People have the ability to design themselves as they would like to be by consciously choosing among alternatives. They can slow down their decisions and make effective, thoughtful, fact-based choices.

This lesson describes this deliberate choice process and gives students experience with it. Students act as increasingly adept choice makers, or choice detectives, looking for facts to determine the best possible feeling, thought, and behavioral choices. Activity 1 provides a definition of choice and an opportunity for participation in the choice-making process. Activity 2 helps students understand the wide range of daily choices that they make. Activity 3 offers active analysis of the choice-making process. Activity 4 helps students gain awareness of the importance of conscious and effective choice-making and invites their commitment to becoming informed choice makers.

In addition to the actual lessons, there are many ongoing classroom opportunities for developing an awareness of and active participation in the choice-making process. Students learn that each of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors is based on a choice that they have made and for which they are responsible. Therefore, when they are demonstrating a particular thought, feeling, or behavior, students can be reminded that they are making a choice to think, feel, or act in that particular fashion. For example, if a student is feeling angry and breaking pencil points, rather than merely telling him or her to stop that behavior, remind the student that he or she is choosing to behave in that way. Then, help the student apply the choice-making process to examine whether this was an effective choice and explore and rehearse a more effective way to deal with his or her angry feelings. In this way, the student has a structure within which to deal more appropriately with the feeling the next time it occurs (see Figure 1.1).

This is not to say, however, that this structure is easy to apply. Choice-making is based largely on habit, so youngsters need guidance at first and then a great deal of practice. This may seem frustrating and time consuming at the onset of the curriculum. With practice, however, youngsters are able to make increasingly effective choices on their own, soon demanding less and less of the teacher’s time. They will not need to be told to stop their ineffective behavior. Rather, they will make effective behavioral choices on their own because they know how to do so.

Figure 1.1 Making Choices

1. Look at alternatives

2. Choose an alternative

3. Act on the choice

4. Evaluate the choice

5. Keep the choice or make a new choice

Students will be participating in a program that can be enjoyable and can help them to become the very best people that they can be. However, let them know that they will be experiencing new activities, some of which they may feel uncomfortable doing. If they find an activity uncomfortable, let them know that they can tell you how they feel and that they will be allowed to pass on the activity the first time it is introduced and rejoin the activity when they feel more comfortable.

Also, it may be harder for students to stay in control because of the difference in structure between some of these activities and the regular classroom activities to which they have become accustomed. For example, in this curriculum, they will be moving around as opposed to sitting in their seats. Let them know that it will be helpful if they can work hard to keep themselves in control and to ask for help when they are finding that difficult to do.

Activity 1: STANDING UP FOR CHOICES

1. Explain that when making a choice, a person decides what is best out of two or more possibilities, also known as alternatives. Remind students that people are always making choices between alternatives. They make choices about what to believe, how to think, and how to act. Many of these choices are made without planning. It is important to plan their choices so they make the best choices possible.

2. Present two alternatives and ask students to choose one, standing up when the alternative is read to indicate their preference. Examples of choices to present to students:

Do you prefer Burger King’s or McDonald’s hamburgers?

Do you prefer sports or art?

In your free time, do you study or do you watch television?

If there was someone in class whom no one liked, would you stay away from or go up and talk to that person?

If you had no money and you saw some on your parent’s dresser, would you take just a little bit for something you really wanted, or would you leave the money there?

3. Add other choices based on your knowledge of the choices your students make. Provide a range from simple to increasingly difficult choices.

4. Explain that many choices are made without thinking, and discuss this with students. Choices are made this way sometimes because a person follows what a friend does. It is important to think before choosing so that the choice made is the best for both the chooser and other people. It is helpful for students to think of the choice process as pushing the “pause button” on the “VCR of life,” to stop and think about whether or not they want to ma...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Dedication
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Preface
• About the Author
• Introduction: A Teacher Laments
• Section 1: Developing Emotional Skills
• Section 2: Developing Social Skills
• Section 3: Developing Life Skills
• Epilogue: A Teacher Rejoices
• Resource A: Reproducible Masters
• Resource B: Summary Activities
• References
• Index