Boss of Busy

Combat Burn Out and Get Clear on What Matters

Alison Hill

• Publisher: Wiley
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9780730369608
• Edition: 2
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Bring calm to the chaos in your life.

Whether you find yourself checked out, burnt out, or just plain freaked out; you deserve better. Psychologist Alison Hill takes you deep into the key pillars for our happiness, health and sanity to help you live a life filled with purpose and progress. Productivity training or the latest organisational system will only take you so far. To make lasting change you need the right tools, mindset and skills. Boss of Busy helps you find the courage and optimism to live the life you crave, let go of what is holding you back and learn how to prioritise what really matters. Originally published in 2016 as Stand Out, this book has been reviewed and redesigned to become part of the Wiley Be Your Best series - aimed at helping readers acheive professional and personal success.

Part I
So, who is the boss?

Overwhelm hits us, and it hits hard. Sometimes it's the slow pressure cooker, building up over time before bursting from our mouths in a tirade just because the little red man at the crossing light seems to be taking forever to give us a turn (seriously, some days he just seems to be messing with us for sport). Other times, overwhelm happens in a defined, specific moment. The flood comes all at once and knocks the wind out of us in an instant.

In these moments of overwhelm you might find yourself whispering, ‘Oooohhh, I've just gotta get my shit together'. Occasionally that whisper comes out as a scream, with a few superlatives attached to it for greater effect.

While productivity sounds like what we've got to dial up, often the reality is that focusing purely on being more productive adds fuel to the fire of overwhelm — with a side order of guilt. The pathway out of feeling overloaded is to come back to the why and the what. Why this and what's next? This then leads into an understanding of the four states, and which one (or ones) you might be in.

CHAPTER 1
Get clear on what matters

Wouldn't it be lovely to say goodbye to the weight of overwhelm, the pressure of expectations and the barrage of busyness that wears you down? How good would it be to jump off the conveyor belt of chaos? But when? Seriously, who's got time for that? Do you get that nagging feeling that if you stop running — even for a second — life will swamp you in a deluge?

This sense of overwhelm comes from two places. First, we're overwhelmed because of our uncertainty about what to do next. Which decision should I make that will be ‘right', how do I find balance, should I have red quinoa or white quinoa? (Seriously, even a quick trip to the supermarket results in many mini-meltdown moments!) Second, overwhelm comes from wanting to do it all. With so many options and so many ideas that we want to dive into feet first, we're burning the midnight oil and getting swamped in our own busyness.

Consumed by the sheer amount of what needs to be done, and underneath not really sure where we sit in it all, we can feel like we're doing it all on our own. For me, this is where my inner martyr turns up, stepping in to insist, ‘I've got this', ‘No, let me', ‘I'll take it all on and just suck it up'. My inner martyr definitely works solo — if you offer her help, she'll flatly refuse; get offended even. Then she'll storm off in a huff just to prove to you that she's got this. The louder and more frequent the huffs, the more she's telling you to back away (while actually silently screaming for help).

In the moments of feeling over it and stuck in a deep rut without a single off-ramp in sight, we cling to anything that will make us feel better. Busyness leads to bargaining, self-sacrifice and hours of researching how you can have a coffee-machine intravenously attached to you just to get through the day (or maybe that's just me). This is why we whisper to ourselves, under our breath, ‘I've gotta get my shit together'. Maybe you shout it out loud. Regularly. Like hourly. Every. Day.

If you're nodding agreement, you're in the right place.

These whispers are your impetus for change. Change only occurs, though, when you are clear about what needs to change.

LET'S CHECK THE PULSE

Things can be different — and making changes doesn't have to be all about giving things up, regrets and caffeine by the bucketload. But the only way things will be different is if you first recognise where you're at, right here and now. It's time to look at what's really going on.

So, let's take some time to check our ‘pulse'. Not your actual pulse; I'm sure yours is fine (a little hurried maybe, but still operating). Besides, the whole this-is-a-book-and-I-can't-actually-check-your-real-pulse thing kinda gets in the way. No, let's check the pulse of busyness in your world and its impact.

Take some time with a pen and paper and go through the following questions, rating yourself on where you currently sit on the described continuums.

The Boss of Busy scale

Where are you at? (Rate yourself from 1 to 10.)
1. How often do you take time out to hit the reset button for yourself?
‘Time out? That'll happen when I'm dead.'	‘Every day is "me" day.'
2. Do the people closest to you know what your no-go zones are?
‘I'm the master of saying yes when I don't mean it.'	‘My boundaries are like the Great Wall of China — so clear you can see them from space.'
3. If someone asks you what your strengths are, what is your response?
‘The only thing I'm good at is second-guessing myself … I think? Um … what do you think?'	‘I can rattle off what I rock at in a heartbeat.'
4. Do you know the things that really, truly matter to you?
‘I used to but they've become lost under the busyness.'	‘At any given moment I know what's important.'
5. How clear are you on exactly what your values are?
‘Family, health, happiness are my go-to boring responses.'	‘I'm razor-sharp clear on my unique values.'
6. Do the people around you know exactly what presses your buttons?
‘I'm the enigma.'	‘I'm the open book.'
7. How mapped out are the goals you want to achieve?
‘I've bought myself a planner, but it's gathering dust.'	‘They're mapped out to within an inch of their lives.'
8. How obvious is the next step you need to take?
‘All I do is react to what's right in front of me.'	‘What's next is clear to me and takes priority.'
9. When it comes to planning your week or day, do your happiness and health make it onto the to-do list?
‘They're always the bottom of the pile, last priority.'	‘These things are the first in the calendar.'
10. How visible are your goals and values?
‘They're in my head, does that count?'	‘They sma...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• About the author
• Preface
• Introduction:The four parts to creating a passionate life
• Part I So, who is the boss?
• Part II Step out of check out
• Part III Combat burn out
• Part IV Tackle freak out
• Part V Embrace stand out
• Conclusion
• Boss of busy planner
• Acknowledgements
• End User License Agreement